7am- Haha wow! Anyway, since I’ve arrived at my fathers, I guess you could say I’ve become more in tune with my senses, how my body feels, smells etc. I can smell my neighbors hair wash from up a hill and through a forest! Living in this environment is devoid of synthetic smells, myself included. Well, I have good reason to believe I am carrying a sexually transmitted disease, I did some searching on the internet, I’m quite certain it’s one of the little nasty ones that can be cured by antibiotics. I’ve not bothered raising the subject with my father as it’s something I would rather not discuss with him, I know I’m risking potential cancer growth and infertility. When I get out of here, one of the first things I will do is visit the doctor, get diagnosed and cured ( hopefully) and then take a fertility test if needed. The results of the fertility test will dictate my next steps, if I am to get married, or stay single for life. To be honest, I don’t think marriage is worth it, unless we are going to have children, as I think all love fades over time, at best, turning into apathy and friendship and worse, disgust for eachother. To me that is not worth it when I could instead stay single. If I am to stay single, I will take it another step further, and seek clinical or psychological help to devoid myself of feelings of attraction, attachment, love, and the drive to reproduce. So I may with a single mind, devote myself and focus on whatever work I choose to do.