10am: Woke up on time today, acted out my addiction twice, (masturbation) Ive talked about it before, the problem with release for men in general myself as well, is that it is a form of stress relief. So each time releasing, increases feelings of brain fog, relaxation, apathy. The feelings you absolutely do not want to have when in a stressful situation, stress exists for a reason and should therefore not be medicated with food, drugs or therapy. Its to draw our attention to something that is broken in our lives, medicating stress is like applying a bandage over a large wound before cleaning and washing it out. You’ll remove the bandage one day and see rot has taken ahold of the site and maggots are populating. To avoid this, it is better to address issues in our lives than to medicate. I will do my best to recover from releasing twice, already I feel apathy has set in, the way I sit at Lu chair is very relaxed, vs this morning when I sat with back straight up at the edge of my seat. Each time I release I am shooting myself in the foot, just ole release is enough to bring on fatigue as well, which adds on to my already piss poor sleep cycle.