5:22pm What is there to say? Went to bed very late last night, woke up late this morning, had such a bad headache ate breakfast and went back to sleep for another 4 or 5 hours. Lost count of how many times I indulged in my addiction today. I’m far behind on my sales, I made $300 my first 5 days of this month, working diligently every day. It’s the 22 and I’ve made perhaps $30 since then. Not surprising, we are our own worst enemy I suppose. If I was to say I feel a certain way, I think that word would be hopeless, and I’ve felt like this for over a year now. Time flys by at light speed here, my routine is the as every day. Indulge in food, watch YouTube and Instagram videos all day, addiction again and again. I continually forget to care about the future, as I prioritize my addiction over everything. What’s consistency? In an ideal situation, I would make enough money to raise above the water and catch a breath of relief, but this is not a fair existence, and we have to pull ourselves through no matter how hopeless we feel, not like we have a choice anyway. I’ve chosen to excersice today, in the past when I would forgo it, I would just watch YouTube videos anyway, adding to anger and discontent in my decisions. At least exercise develops me positively, even though lending hardly any value to making money. Perhaps it’s delusion, but I feel as though I have a choice, stay on the path im on, or devote myself wholly to business, no half measures. I’ll be honest, I’m scared to devote my entire being to business, the sacrifices could be immense, but in life, it seems we suffer one way or another, might as well suffer for something positive? I suppose even if I was to be working 70 hour weeks, while having a family I would be happier than where I am now.

This is a really timely podcast for what I’m going through right now. 👆